Marriage Is for Life

Reading:  1 Corinthians 7:36-40
    
    Paul gives advice regarding the “betrothed”(or “virgins”), although it is unclear whether he is referring to engagements or the arrangements parents make for their children’s marriage.  His point is the same in either case:  “if his passions are strong and it has to be, let him do as he wishes:  let them marry—it is no sin”(1 Cor 7:36).  Some versions add “if she is past her youth,” suggesting yet another pressure that leads the Corinthians to feel urgency about marriage.  Paul does not suggest that marriage is wrong (“it is no sin”), just unwise due to the current circumstances.  “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better”(1 Cor 7:38).

    Why all this careful talk about marriage?  God intends marriage to be permanent.  “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.  But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord”(1 Cor 7:39).  Marriage is for life.   Only when her husband dies is a wife free to be married to another.  Yet even here, Paul thinks it would be better for her to remain a widow:  “Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is”(1 Cor 7:40).   This is Paul’s judgment, to which he enigmatically adds “and I think that I too have the Spirit of God”(1 Cor 7:40).  

    Marriage is for life.  It is not like changing clothes, jobs, or houses.  This suggests that marriage should not be rushed into without consideration of all the ramifications.  Marriage gains strength from its permanence.  Only when both parties are committed to one another can conflicts be successfully resolved, love affirmed, and intimacy enjoyed.   “Marriage is for life” is a principle that must not just be stated, but lived out.

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One Thing to Think About:  Am I committed to my mate “till death do us part”?

One Thing to Pray For:  Wisdom about whether to marry, whom to marry, and how to make peace
 

The Benefits of Singleness

Reading:  1 Corinthians 7:25-35
    
    Paul gives his opinion here about “virgins”("betrothed" in ESV), probably young women who are considering marriage.  “Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.  I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is”(1 Cor 7:25-26).  His opinion (distinct from God’s command) is that virgins remain single.  He does not explain the “present distress,” but it probably suggests persecution (see v. 29-31).  The circumstances mean that Paul (a single man himself) views singleness as preferable.

    Why?  “Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that”(1 Cor 7:28).  The time is approaching when married people will wish they were unmarried (v. 29), suggesting that one would constantly worry about persecution dividing the family.  There is also an issue of focus:  “I want you to be free from anxieties.  The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.  But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided”(1 Cor 7:32-33).  Singleness allows full attention to be on pleasing Jesus; marriage demands that we please both Jesus and our spouse.  Paul is reassuring single people that there are significant advantages to remaining single, including the freedom to pursue spiritual growth more intensely.  Yet even in this he acknowledges that this is simply his suggestion, not a hard-and-fast rule (v. 35).  He wants to “secure your undivided devotion to the Lord”(1 Cor 7:35).

    What to do with a text like this?  Paul touts the benefits of singleness, encouraging single people not to be discontent but to view their state as a blessing.  Singleness can be incredibly powerful if we use the freedom it gives us to grow closer to Jesus and serve others.  Meanwhile, those who are married must take seriously the warning about divided loyalties (v. 32-33).  We love our spouses and serve Jesus by serving them, yet it is easy to grow so home-focused that we forget to be Jesus-focused.  

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One Thing to Think About:  Do I have “undivided devotion” to Jesus?

One Thing to Pray For:  Foresight to make decisions that will help me remain faithful to Jesus
 

Serve Jesus Where You Are

Reading:  1 Corinthians 7:17-24
    
    The gospel of Jesus means change.  Often we hyperbolically declare that “everything must change” when we become Christians.  The Corinthians seem to struggle with this thought—wondering whether following Jesus means that I need to leave my marriage, my job, or be circumcised.  Paul reassures them:  “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.  This is my rule in all the churches”(1 Cor 7:17).  And again, “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called”(1 Cor 7:20).  We don’t have to change everything; we can serve Jesus right where we are.  

    Paul gives examples.  Whatever your circumcision status was when you believed in Jesus, don’t change it (1 Cor 7:18-19).  If you were a bondservant, “do not be concerned about it”(1 Cor 7:21).  If you can be free, do so, but you can serve Jesus right where you are.  “So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God”(1 Cor 7:24).  The applications to marriage (his topic in this chapter) are obvious:  just stay where you were when Jesus called you, not assuming you need to divorce or get married (see v. 27).  Serve Jesus where you are.

     We must learn to appreciate “the life that the Lord has assigned” to each one of us.  Our lives can seem so boring and ordinary that we believe some radical change is necessary to fulfill our purpose.  Often this thought is born of our own pride and desire for significance.   Serve Jesus where you are, trusting that he has “assigned you" the life that you have.  Paul’s words also caution us against thinking that there is more we have to do or become before God is pleased with us.  Circumcision would not get us closer to God.  Following Jesus as a bondservant does not give us second-class status in the kingdom.  Jesus has already accepted us by obedient faith.  Instead of some dramatic, radical gesture, serve Jesus where you are.

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One Thing to Think About:  What does the “life that the Lord has assigned” to me look like?

One Thing to Pray For:  Contentment with my current state of life
 

A Spouse’s Influence

Reading:  1 Corinthians 7:12-16
    
    Paul is still giving marriage advice.  He has encouraged married couples (presumably those married to Christians) to stay married, but now he writes to “the rest”:  “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her”(1 Cor 7:12).  Paul gives his personal counsel (“I, not the Lord”) to disciples married to unbelievers.  He encourages them to remain married to such people rather than reflexively divorcing because of the difference in beliefs.  He also acknowledges that the unbeliever’s consent matters (“and she consents to live with him”) and complicates matters.

    What if the unbelieving party is unwilling to stay married?  “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so.  In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.  God has called you to be peace”(1 Cor 7:15).  If the unbelieving mate leaves, there is little to be done.  The Christian is “not enslaved” to such a person.  Paul seems to envision us forcing ourselves on a mate who refuses to have us.  Such a course is not required; Paul simply says “let it be so.”  He does not address such a person’s marital options now (as in v. 11), but wants them to have “peace” about the undesired situation.

    Paul’s logic is intriguing.  Christians should stay married to non-Christians because there is tremendous potential for influence.  “For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband.  Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy”(1 Cor 7:14).  And again, “how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?  Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”(1 Cor 7:16).  The precise manner in which we make our spouses “holy” is unclear, but the point is obvious:  Christians bless their families.  We show them a higher way to live, we give ourselves to them in love, and we may even save them.  No one will influence us quite as powerfully as our families.  This is a call to be a sanctifying influence on our spouses and children.

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One Thing to Think About:  Am I influencing my mate for good?

One Thing to Pray For:  Strong marriages that bless both parties 
 

Each Has His Own Gift from God

Reading:  1 Corinthians 7:6-11
    
    Paul is responding to the Corinthians’ questions by giving marriage advice.  He suggests that “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband”(1 Cor 7:2), yet stresses here that this statement is “a concession, not a command”(1 Cor 7:6).  People don’t have to get married to please God or live fulfilled lives.  Paul says that “I wish that all were as I myself am”(1 Cor 7:7), meaning single (v. 8),  yet “each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another”(1 Cor 7:7).  Remaining single and happy is a “gift from God” that not all possess; Paul sees it as a blessing, especially in light of the “present distress”(see v. 26-35).  This is why he advises the “unmarried and the widows” to stay single unless they are unable to control themselves sexually (v. 8-9).  

    Married people, meanwhile, do not have the freedom to choose whether to stay married or be single again.  “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord):  the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife”(1 Cor 7:10-11).  God wants married people to stay married.  Paul reminds us that it is the Lord (Jesus) himself who gives this instruction.  If divorce does happen (contrary to God’s will), Paul lists the only options as “(remaining) unmarried or else (being) reconciled to her husband.”  Notably absent is remarriage to another.  All of this is building toward Paul’s major point in this chapter:  remain where you were when you were called (v. 17, 24).

    Each one of us has his or her own gift from God.  Rather than viewing singleness as a burden, Paul sees it as a blessing.  Our gifts may involve our talents, relationships, financial states, or personal charisma, but all of them are from God.  Paul wants us to see ourselves as gifted, to give thanks to God, and to use those gifts to honor him.

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One Thing to Think About:  How is this view of singleness different from modern thinking?

One Thing to Pray For:  Wisdom to understand how to use my gifts to please God